Papa Frog says he’s over at Green Frog’s fixing some issues with the server and/or application. Yeah. Sure. Uh, huh. I’m onto him. I know he’s found some secret wormhole that leads from our Southern abode to San Francisco. He thinks he can fool me with that flimsy black jean jacket and bouncy hair over the eyes disguise. HA.

I do find it hard to believe that Papa Frog would partake in such activities without me. I was under the impression that making me laugh using his patented techniques of complete and total embarrassment was part of the appeal for him…

Last week, Shortstack and I were out and about around town, having an amusing discussion in the car between stopping points. I forget what our conversation was about, but at one point I said to him, ‘Don’t be a such a wiseguy!’ As is usually the case, I was quickly put in my place by his response.

‘Why not? Wise means smart. Mrs. B told us that in class that wise is the same thing as smart. That’s a good thing!’

And just like when Papa Frog says this sort of thing to me, every retort or explanation I can possibly offer only deepens the hole I’ve found myself in.

Need I say more?

Shortstack, a breakfast meat connoisseur through and through, is just the sort of child who would put this on his Christmas list. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I found the list of membership perks. As if TWELVE different artisinal bacons a month wasn’t enough…

Twelve different artisan bacon delivered to your door each month*
Informative notes on all bacon selections
Discounts on Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons
Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card
The Bacon Strip—Our monthly bacon comic strip for members only
The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen
A Little Rubber Toy Pig
One free Bacon Tee-Shirt

Thanks for the link, Mighty Goods!

So it turns out that the ‘tighties‘ Shortstack was referring to weren’t tightey-whiteys after all, rather tights/pantyhose/stockings, etc. It clicked as we were changing from our school/work clothes to our ‘we aren’t doing SQUAT this afternoon’ attire and he saw the fist sized hole I had poked through the support pantyhose I wore today. (Yes, the things I SWORE I’d never wear. But damn if they don’t smooth out and tighten up your thighs and backside…)

I feel somewhat vindicated. Although looking back, it does seem I was being a little sensitive, doesn’t it? Maybe some shopping for undergarments should be on my list of things to do while the boys have Man Night tomorrow…

Shortstack was enjoying some ‘private bath time’ Monday night while I was being a terrible mommy and catching up on some blogs across the hall in the office. He had been on the verge of being sick since Friday, but at this point his only symptom was still the extreme whininess (isn’t that the worse symptom of them all?). I wasn’t suprised when I heard him gradually losing his patience in the tub; each outburst a little more severe than the previous. A temper-specific version of Tourette’s, which was not unlike what I suffered during pregnancy, actually. The angry shout of

‘OWWWW. I HAVE WATER ALL OVER ME!!!’

was enough to make be bolt to the bathroom in a flash, and I nearly wet myself I laughed so hard when I got there. Apparently, he had splashed water in his eyes and completely soaked his head and face. Not wanting him to think I was laughing at his pain and discomfort, I gently reminded him that he was in a tub full of water, and of course he was wet! His response, ‘oh, yeah…’ As if he had forgotten where he was.