just working out the kinks

I Love You!

I submit to you two scenarios from my recent visits to our favorite home improvement place. Improving home improvement indeed…


Scenario I

• begin very messy, dirty project
• run out of essential item, or realize it never made it on the list
• head to Lowe’s looking like the Lizard Man’s bride;
  complete with no makeup, crazy hair, and grubby work clothes
• search hopelessly for item; layout makes no sense, the store is rearranged yet again
• try to maintain patience and focus on finding item
• just one more aisle; there’s NOWHERE else it could possibly be…
• give up solo search
• admit need for help
• text message husband and declare family holiday because I actually acknowledged need for help
• multiple choice:
  1. can’t find living soul to help
  2. finally find someone to help and forget what the hell it was I needed in the first place
• leave store empty-handed

Scenario II

• get dressed; light makeup, khaki capris, nice shirt, & short red heels with hair neatly pulled back
• go by Lowe’s to get some ideas and check out materials for a few projects
• just browsing and checking prices; no need for any help at all
• help? who needs help? not me!!!
• spend more time shooing away people than actually looking for ideas and prices
• leave store empty-handed

Talk about a moment of randomness and ‘where the heck did that come from?’ During last week’s flu-fest, Shortstack ran into our room and declared that he was no longer on speaking terms with Batfrog. I was shocked, as he and Batfrog had become extra close over the past few weeks. ‘Batfrog said some things we don’t say in this family.’ Of course I asked what Batfrog said, hoping I could give it a little context and background explanation, just like I would if it were a buddy at school. Batfrog said, ‘Damn.’ ‘Oh. That is pretty bad…and you’re right, that’s not something we like to say in our family…’ followed by the usual parental yada-yada. Shortstack pipes in with, ‘But that’s okay in some families, like in France and Germany…’

Hey–At this point, I’m just glad he knows there are other countries out there.

I was catching up with our awesome neighbors yesterday afternoon when their preacher from the church around the corner from us happened to be jogging buy and started teasing the neighbor. I introduced myself and pointed to our house, saying we lived across the street.

‘oh, that’s the house with that happy little boy who’s always outside and the man who’s always out there with him, talking on the phone’

At first I was almost defensive, explaining that Papa Frog works from home and does indeed spend more than a decent amount of time on the phone. And then it struck me how awesome it is to live in the house with ‘that happy little boy.’ It’s an even more amazing feeling that people actually recognize our house by the happy little boy who lives there.

Shortstack walks in office with a stuffed tortoise from one of the Kohl’s Cares for Kids sets that came out a while back. The tortoise’s legs are covering his eyes.

‘Look, Mom! He can’t see. He’s been blonded!’