Last night at dinner:

‘What’s wrong? Why aren’t you eating?’

‘I’m just trying not to eat like a race horse for once.’

‘Why start now?’

‘Yeah, Mom—you usually eat like a vacuum cleaner!’

‘We’ll just have to start calling her Hoover.’

**short pause to explain that Hoover is a popular brand of vacuum**

‘Then you guys can call me ORECK!’ [...]